He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
