Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
