Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
