So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize