She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
