Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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