It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
