all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
