in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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