booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
