Jerry, you need to find god
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
