something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
