So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize