I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
