what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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