false alarm. still invincible.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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