You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
