the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Im part way to drunk.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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