obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
