Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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