What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I could fuck to npr.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
