Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish i was in the wii world.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize