I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
