It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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