Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
