I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize