i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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