i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
