I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
