my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
that may or may not have been my penis.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
