He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
