Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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