He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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