Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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