This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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