This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
