i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
