Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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