You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
