I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
