In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
