The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
