I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
jump out the window naked night went bad
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