apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
