do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
