I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
