I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
