I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my being single is dangerous.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
