If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
