I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
