somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
