R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
