moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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