just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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